Sunday, May 10, 2009

As Good as It Gets

What if this is as good as it will ever be?
As good as it gets?

It’s been a wild ride since January.
It’s been scary.
It’s been sad.
It’s been me.

Before this all happened I never knew that Intracranial Hypertension existed. I never knew that my head could hurt so much on a daily basis. I never knew the love that my family truly had for me.

I never knew.

This past week I went back to work, or attempted to go back to work.
It was not a pretty site.

For starters, I know that Fluorescent lights are a migraine trigger for me and guess what I have in my office..yep, one hella big flouresant light shining over my desk.

So smart me, cuts them on and the result……sick, sick, sick….my head felt like a time bomb after 4 hours. I came home took a Relplax. Wes and I went to Lowe’s to get lamps for my office. By the time we got back to the house I was sweating and nauseous and could not get any relief. I now have inject able Toradal and that is what I had to do. Pull the syringe out, get the meds and stick my thigh. Night, Night….. The only good part is, within 10 minutes I had relief. The bad part, I was out like a light.

Sigh…..I try again

Thursday came and I managed to work 5 hours. Yea Me!!! It actually felt good to be at work. It felt good to be productive again.

I came home, made dinner, and went to a school program.

By the middle of the night IH/migraine was in full force again…. Leading to a no work day for me…Not good. Not what I wanted.

But you think that’s it…no way….my little black cloud came for a visit..

Wes took the girls to school in my car and came back and got in his car to go to the dry cleaners and nada, nothing, zip….the damm car would not start.

Long story short and $$$$$$$$$$ later..the car is fixed.

Ahhh, the little black cloud. Really it’s time for him to find a new home, don’t ya think?

But here we are…another day had passed.

The girls are sound asleep in their beds.

Wes is flying.

My peripheral vision in my right eye has been gone since 4 p.m.

My right abdominal side has been hurting for days, increasingly so.

The whooshing in my ears is back, after being gone for about four days.

My head hurts, it tingles, it itches, it just plain hurts…..

What if this is as good as it gets? I have to ask myself that. I have to be prepared for it.

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